Welcome to the button room. Click any button you want as many times as you want!

If you still wish to go to the book page after all those buttons, please use this other regular button: 

Before proceeding to the book page, please take a moment to consider that every single day, creatures such as these are having the same kinds of feelings you have:

Please do ten pushups right now.

*If you cannot physically perform pushups for medical reasons, please spend 30 seconds contemplating a grueling concept such as the nature of experience

Thank you again for doing that. 

If you wouldn't mind, please do it again. 

Now that you are here, please go to the next page.

Thank you.

Integrity/Counting Test Part 1

This shall be a three-part test of your personal integrity and counting skills. 

To begin, please regard the purely decorative red button (which does absolutely nothing) for exactly ten seconds, then click the green button to proceed.

And don't try to trick me. I'll figure it out.

Integrity/Counting Test Part 2

Please regard the purely decorative red button (which does absolutely nothing) for exactly one hundred seconds, then click the green button to proceed.

Integrity/Counting Test Part 3

Please regard the purely decorative red button (which does absolutely nothing) for exactly ONE MILLION SECONDS, then click the green button to proceed.

Just kidding! It was admirable of you to consider doing that, but nobody has the patience to look at something so pointing for a million seconds. Go ahead and click the green button. You earned it. 

You chose the hard button. I assume you did this because you wish to undergo a herculean trial of wit and stamina before being allowed to purchase or look at the book. 

To begin, please click the button. 

Here is a short demonstration of the sheer versatility of the Lounging Brian Kibler Playmat: 

And that's not even all the things you can do with it!!

The possibilities are endless!

If you have needs, chances are good that the Lounging Brian Kibler playmat can fulfill one of them. 

Once Upon a Time, I went to a sushi restaurant with some of my friends.

One of those friends was Brian.

Several glasses of wine later, I noticed a little bowl full of wasabi sitting near the edge of the table. 

I was immediately overcome with the need to make Brian eat it. 

I offered to pay him to eat it, but he wanted more than money. He wanted opportunity. After haggling about the terms of the bet, we agreed that if Brian was able to eat the entire thing of wasabi within ten seconds, I would tweet about his new business adventure: selling playmats (or, for those of you unfamiliar with Magic:the Gathering and its various accessories, gigantic fucking mouse pads) with this spectacular picture on them:

It was a truly impressive amount of wasabi, and I didn't think he'd be able to do it, but I was wrong.

Like the upstanding citizen I am, I was prepared to follow through on my end of the bet immediately. And that's where it would have ended. But Brian needed time to get the playmats ready. 

Each passing day gave me more time to think of ways to market Brian's playmat. I slowly became more invested in the joke. Things spiraled.  

At some point, I may have even tweeted vaguely threatening things at Brian, which had the unintended effect of upping the ante and putting more pressure on myself to follow through on the hype. 

And here we are, several weeks later. I've got an entire advertising campaign for Lounging Brian Kibler playmats and this strange, almost competitive drive to sell as many of them as possible. 

I'm not even sure why or how this happened (boredom? Momentum? Just for the hell of it?), but it did.  

Welcome to Brianpocalypse. 

(If you absolutely cannot wait another second to purchase your own Lounging Brian Kibler Playmat, you may skip Brianpocalypse and proceed straight to the playmat:  http://bmkgaming.com/product/lounging-brian-playmat/#prettyPhoto)